curse of the meat truck

let me tell you!  there is something in this world i just can't say no to:  door-to-door meat sales.  i've turned away evangelists preaching the word of god, i refuse to participate in the neighbor child's school fundraiser, but give me a causally dressed guy offering frozen meat off a truck and it's apparently irresistable!  i say "apparently" because, in retrospect, it's NEVER a good idea to buy frozen meat off a truck.  yet, somehow, it always seems like the best darn idea in the world when faced with the meat salesman!

now, i had zero intention of buying the copious amounts of meat that now fill my freezer, but my mind must turn into one of their frozen steaks when the meat salesman knocks on my door!  it's totally a scam, too.  he knocked on my door and i *swear* i heard the word "free" in his "i've got some meat in my truck and i really want to be done with my job now and you'd really be helping me out" speech...  but it was ANYTHING but free!  that should've tipped me off there.  but did the blatant weaseling me into a sales pitch stop me?!  NO!  NO! and NO!

he wanted to sell me something like 10 boxes of steaks and chicken for some crazy amount close to $300.  oh NO!  that's MUCH too expensive, i think.  so, i do what any self-respecting homemaker does when faced with prohibitively pricey frozen meat sales...  i try to talk him down.  "there's no way this will all fit into my freezer," i say.  he drops his price to $175.  getting better for the frozen goods, but still not quite there...  he finally goes down to $125.  DEAL!  but in the hustle, i've somehow walked away with only 5 of those original 10 boxes!  WHAAA?!??!  meat-blinders in full effect.

at some point during this carnivorous adventure, i talk to my wonderful husband on the phone who reminds me to look for the guy's truck.  make sure it actually has a freaking corporate logo on it or SOMETHING!  my god!  has living in southwest virginia, where everyone's so sweet and generally trustworthy, rotted the common sense right out of my brain?!  though that's definitely part of the equation, it's not the whole...  i think it was just the MEAT!  the MEAT rots my brain!  "you didn't let him into the apartment did you?" asks my darling husband.  "of COURSE!  how else could he show me the MEAT?!"  i mean DUH, right?!

during the sales spiel, this dude is going on and on about how "you can't get this meat for this price at your grocery store".  OH YES, i obediently nod.  DAMN STRAIGHT.  those dirty, rotten grocery stores, man... those grocery store crooks are just out for your money!  had my brain not been turned into frozen meat products, i could've CHECKED the meat in my fridge to see how true that was.  (spoiler alert - it's not true AT ALL!)

so, i finally make my selections.  i got a pretty good amount of stuff.  6 ribeyes, 6 bone-in strip steaks, 8 marinated chicken breasts, 8 pork chops, and 4 seasoned pork roasts.  all that frozen goodness for $125.  HELL YE-...  uh....  wait a minute.  that equals almost $4 FOR EACH PIECE!  how could i have been so blind!  5 boxes of frozen meat for $125.  that's $25 per box.  that means i just paid $3.13 FOR EACH CHICKEN BREAST.  oh, man.  i just want to bang my head against a wall!

furthermore, the dude tells me not to talk to my neighbors about the DEAL he gave me!  heaven forbid they get all jealous of my meat purchase!  i think i will take his advice, though, so my neighbors don't berate me for my foolishness!

it occurs to me, after the fact of course, to check out the company online.  see what other people think of the business.  this place has an F from the better business bureau!  OH cruel, cruel world!  with your glistening frozen steaks and your charming sales people!  i just hope there's no monkey business with my check.  at least he didn't ask me to write the check to "cash"!

the worst part is...  THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME!  a few years ago, i, blinded by the lovely, red frozen beef before me, bought steaks off a truck from the same company!  fortunately, they must not have sucked in terms of taste, or i HOPE i would not repeat the same mistake...

i am committing this experience to memory, however!  i am BLOGGING IT!  no longer will i be lured into the dreamy world of frozen meat!  NO MORE!  i will stand strong against meat-from-a-truck!  i will treat meat salesmen with the same regard as the evangelists and elementary school kids who knock on my door!  i will not be blinded by the prospect of steak for a month!  i will practice these words in the mirror, "no, thank you.  i'm not interested in purchasing your mesmerizing frozen meat today."  I WILL PERSEVERE!  I WILL LIFT THE CURSE OF THE MEAT TRUCK!

lazarus

i hold my son in my arms.
his little breath warms my collarbone;
the sound of rain soft in the background.
we are bound together in a silhouette hug:
shadows on the wall
show two heads nestled together.
tiny blonde hairs make his head soft
against my cheek.
i inhale his sweetness, exhale my love.
my heart swells to bursting
as i lay him down
and he is quiet, content.
peaceful.
indeed, the room is filled with peace.
my heart is filled with peace.